people only hear what they want to hear
"Don't waste your time with explanations: people but hear what they want to hear."
Paulo Coelho
Beyond the Quote (124/365)
I disagree. I stumbled upon this quote on Instagram and I can see why people would share it and agree with it from a superficial standpoint, just I experience that there'due south something deeply wrong nearly it that needs to be discussed. If you never took the fourth dimension to explain, how would everyone always exist influenced to change their listen? Certainly people modify their minds. And in my interpretation, information technology'southward ONLY through conversation and explanation that it ever happens: conversations you accept with other people, conversations you listen to betwixt other people, and conversations that you read from other people. It'south through this abiding commutation of ideas—these explanations—that we only ever accelerate our thoughts forward. How else could we possibly do that?
If people only ever heard what they wanted to hear, and then they would never hear anything new. And yeah, I get it that people can feel strongly almost certain things and can have deep, personal beliefs that they fundamentally believe to be true. And I sympathize that this tin close their minds to hearing anything that would put those behavior and feelings into question. I think we've all been engaged in a conversation with somebody who, no matter how much yous explained your perspective, didn't hear what y'all were trying to say. And this, I believe, is where this idea stems from. Why even bother explaining if people aren't going to heed to you anyway, correct?
Only, what you're forgetting is, just as strongly as yous might feel about your ideas, they, too, might feel just every bit strongly about theirs. Assuming we're non talking about illegal, immoral, or malevolent beliefs, why should they adopt your beliefs if both of your feelings are equal? How can yous ever know how potent their feelings actually are? What makes you retrieve that you're non interim the exact same way towards them as y'all experience they are interim towards y'all? Are you only hearing what you want to hear? Are you really hearing their perspective? Or are yous hearing something that doesn't line upwards with exactly what you think and rebutting and regurgitating your beliefs rapidly back at them? Isn't that exactly what you were just complaining about from the other person?
The Bottom Line
Here'due south the thing, whatsoever mentality that encourages LESS chat, LESS explanation, and LESS conventionalities in people—is dangerous. Explanation is not a waste product of time—it's a cardinal piece of what allows us to connect, improve, and better sympathize each other. Anybody who thinks they know it all and thinks they take a superior perspective of understanding—is dangerous. You don't accept to look likewise far back into history to see that.
If there's whatever takeaway from this quote that I remember IS important to reflect on, it'due south the idea of agreeing to disagree. We have to accept the fact that nosotros, as a diverse people, are going to fundamentally disagree about sure values, beliefs, behaviors, and ideas. There'southward no getting around it. And when you cross that bridge and feel as though y'all fully understand the other person's perspective, fifty-fifty if it's in disagreement with yours, you accept to larn to stop trying to explicate yourself and larn to agree to disagree and walk away.
That doesn't mean, though, that we shouldn't maintain an Open up dialog about those disagreements, discrepancies, and arguments into the future. For, it's through open up, honest, and constructive dialog that we can simply ever accelerate as a lodge. We don't accelerate when we're surrounded just past people who agree with us. Nosotros don't accelerate when don't take the time to thoughtfully and thoroughly explain our perspectives and how they would contribute to a better world. And we certainly don't advance when nosotros assume that everybody in the globe has already made up their listen.
We're all just doing the best we can and trying to effigy information technology all out equally we go. Sometimes what we hash out is going to leave an impression and it might pivot somebody'due south behavior in that direction. Sometimes, they won't—and that's okay. We take to stay open to different perspectives and commit to a connected, ongoing dialog. People change. Situations change. Perspectives change. The hereafter is in the easily of those who are willing have the tough conversations—not the people who have permanently made up their heed. For, the best decisions are not made in the past, when you lot made up your mind, but in the present, when yous take all of the updated facts, fresh perspectives, and new information on manus. Don't shy away from the ongoing conversation—get in the mix. Keep an open up mind and learn to engage, elaborate, listen—really listen, and walk away while at the same time, committing to the ongoing chat. This is what we need more of. Not the opposite.
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Written by Matt Hogan
Founder of MoveMe Quotes and full time Martial Arts Instructor. Matt started Martial Arts training in 2001 because of challenges with weight and has been incredibly focused on bringing out the all-time in himself and others ever since. He is an adventure seeker, not-fiction reader, found-eater, who loves a good claiming and volition curve over backwards for a friend. Have a question for Matt? Want to connect? Feel free to reach out! :)
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Source: https://movemequotes.com/paulo-coelho-quote/
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